2022 in review

What happens in a year? What fills up 365 days?

Visits to new places. Palm Springs and a botanical garden. Chicago and a theater. Fort Collins and a move. California and highway 1. England and Wales. New Orleans. Laughing with friends ’til our bellies ache. Games. Storytelling, improv, and comedy…

In an attempt to capture some of the feel of this last year, here are a few of the media and moments that I was lucky enough to experience.

Movies

Marcel the Snail With Shoes On

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Ahaan 

Shows

I May Destroy You

Queer Eye: Brazil 

Books

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

How High We Go in the Dark 

Moments

Finding out Mitch and I are having a bebe! 

Participating as a story slammer in Slammer of the Year 

Improvising IRL with world-class improvisers in Chicago 

Seeing Mike Birbiglia in Chicago and exploring the city 

Walking in Wales with my virtual-turned-IRL improv friend Vera 

Getting a grant to study improv in England! 

Studying improv in England 

Experiencing New Orleans

Adventuring along the Central Coast of California and driving part of Highway 1 with Mitch, a dream I’ve had for a while 

Cheers. To this and to the new year.

Bittersweet: “Promising Young Woman” is a Story of Upending Expectations

_{Photo by Couleur from Pexels}

I’ve wanted to watch Promising Young Woman ever since I saw that Killing Eve show-runner Emerald Fennell had written and directed a movie. Subscribing to HBO so I could watch Phoebe Robinson’s Sorry Harriet Tubman special turned out to be the perfect way to watch another brilliant female-powered creation. 

I’m so glad I did. This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in the last year. 

Like a Lemonhead candy that appears shiny and sweet on the outside and contains something tart and hard inside, Promising Young Woman peels back the candy-coated layers. It could easily be an analogy for the apple-pie exterior of the United States and the prevalence of sexual assault and violence against women that so often goes unseen and unheard. 

Every bit of this movie is so intentional, a contrast between what’s conveyed on the surface and what’s happening underneath: Cassie’s bubblegum and pastel-hued wardrobe, her colorful nails, her parent’s cotton-candy colored home, the infusions of red in strategic shots. In every part of the movie, there’s the candy-coated exterior and the harder, more bitter truth beneath the surface.  

It’s a thought-provoking movie that illuminates how people — even the ‘nice guys’ — are capable of, if not directly participating in, looking the other way when sexual assault happens and upholding policies that let perpetrators off the hook and punish the assaulted.

Even with the serious subject matter, the movie is funny, sharp, and aware. 

Carrie Mulligan is perfect as Cassie, wrapped in sweet pastel hues and floral prints with much more bubbling below the surface. The entire cast is amazing — Laverne Cox, Jennifer Coolidge, Molly Shannon, Alfred Molina, Bo Burnham — as is the set design. 

We hear others try to make sense of Cassie through labels they scream at her: failure, bitch, psycho. These words, of course, are too simplistic to grasp the complexity of one person and the pain and wrongs someone is trying to heal.

Fennell uses moments without dialogue to hint at so much more. In these quiet moments, Cassie’s expressions are everything. They convey her wants and needs more clearly than words can. 

At the halfway mark of the movie I worried it might go on too long. But Fennell uses her time so well to take us in one direction, then upend our expectations. The movie felt complete and whole.  

I usually don’t watch movies again, but I would watch Promising Young Woman again, and again, to catch each detail of this careful, intentional, thought-provoking, sad, feisty, fierce, satisfying movie. 

Sundown Walks: A Winter Practice

A view of the Boise skyline in early December.

I’ve always been a fall, spring, and summer worshipper. 

Winter felt like something to get through rather than enjoy. Despite passionate arguments from my skiing and snowboarding friends, I never found much love for winter sports. I’ve taken up cross country skiing in spurts and stutters. 

I spend winter bemoaning the fact that I can’t be outside hiking and running without five layers of clothing.

And yet. I’ve been trying to find a different mindset this year. And so far, it’s working. 

Inspired by psychologist Kari Leibowitz’s research above the Arctic Circle in Tromso, Norway, I am embracing the cold, peaceful world of winter. 

Strategy: Get outside.

I tend to focus on the constraints created by days when the sun rises and sets earlier. But what if I looked at it differently? What if I saw the opportunity this limited time gives me? 

Inspired by the Scandinavian mindset, I’ve been setting out for walks just as the sun is starting to set (around 4:45 where I am). I head to the foothills (or the greenbelt if it’s raining) and set off on the trails with my pup, Chloe. 

I’ve noticed the sun’s timeline forces me to get my work done earlier so I can catch her ebbing rays. 

In return for my pilgrammage, the sky treats me to a tremendous vision of blues, pinks, and yellows melting into one another. Twinkling lights rise from the city below. Even when there are other people enjoying the winter night, I have a great sense of solitude. I feel my vast unimportance in the universe. 

It’s just what I need in winter: the reminder that most of the bits of life that I stress over are pretty miniscule in the grand scheme of the cosmos. 

The sunsets in Boise have been ridiculously stunning, even on cloudier days when I might not have normally ventured outside. I watch the skies, from their beginning blue point just over the blue-tinted mountains, to a line of yellow, to light blue, to a deep pink above me. There a burst of lemon, and here, streaks of watermelon. I breathe in the spectacular backdrop of the mountains and watch Boise turn into a sea of twinkling lights underneath the bright white dots of stars, and breathe out everything I’ve been overthinking indoors. 

As I near the shortest day of the year, for the first time in years, I find myself not dreading it, but looking forward to its unique gifts. 

And, of course, looking forward to the other side. 

Nine Days: Movies That Make You Feel Alive

If you are searching for a movie that whisks you away from virus variants and raging Republicans, watch Nine Days. This is a move for now, for these harsh times, to remind us there’s still magic, if we’re only willing to see it. 

It’s the feature debut of Japanese Brazilian director and writer Edson Oda and has a magnetic cast, including Winston Duke, Benedict Wong, and Zazie Beetz. 

The movie takes place in one location, in a small house in the middle of what appears to be nowhere, as if a Kansas cyclone has dropped it there, perfectly intact. In the few instances we’re shown outside of the house, we see a sparse, desert landscape that could be somewhere in Utah (is this what limbo looks like?). 

But it’s not the landscape we care about: it’s the story of a life, and the lucky soul who gets to live it.  

Inside the house resides Will, who spends his days watching people live their lives. He bears witness to their joys and sorrows, to their victories and defeats. 

This movie made me reconsider what makes us alive. It’s not our failures, or our victories, but the joy that we find in each moment. Nine Days breaks up the tiny moments that make up a life into breathtaking glimpses of what life is: dipping your toes into the ocean, riding your bike under cherry blossoms in full bloom, the first bite of a ripe, juicy peach. 

This movie captures, with stunning sharpness, how beautiful and painful it is to be alive. 

I was in awe with the entire cast. Benedict Wong as Kyo is the perfect foil for Will’s intensity. Tony Hale is as funny and real as ever. Zazie Beetz as Emma is curious and whimsical. 

I related most to Emma. She has a curiosity that can’t be contained. She’s the reminder that there’s more joy to reap than we often give ourselves permission to see.

I’m inevitably an Emma: I find amazement in every small detail and am confused as to how others don’t sit mesmerized by a leaf unfurling. Emma has a zest and zeal for life, despite never having lived one. 

One of the elements I loved most about this movie is its economy. It shows and tells us only what we need to know to grasp the the story. Going any further could have risked shattering the lovely simplicity of this film, and I’m so glad Oda didn’t. He leaves space for us to connect with the characters and to feel the range of emotions they evoke. 

Brace yourself to feel the full range of emotions this film provokes. Let yourself be swept up in this heartfelt, sprawling, funny, meditative, miraculous movie. 

Why the Women of ‘Killing Eve’ are the Heroes We Need

I have to admit that when I started watching the BBC’s Killing Eve, I didn’t imagine I’d be rooting for Eve and Villanelle to run off into the sunset together, much less crying over them parting ways. I felt as conflicted as Eve does about the magnetic attraction these two women have for each other. 

Is this because most of the shows I watch depict only white, heteronormative relationships? Probably. Is this because you rarely see two women in a destructive, fiery, passionate relationship? Almost definitely.  

And now? Well, I’m as obsessed with the show as Eve and Villanelle are with each other.

If Waller-Bridge showed us anything with her debut show, Fleabag, it’s that we want more female characters we can relate to, characters who are imperfect and messy and screw up sometimes. Fleabag’s protagonist is often the architect of destruction in her own life, a theme Killing Eve continues. Characters make decisions that hurt others, and themselves. Call it masochistic, or call it being human. 

“I think your monster encourages my monster,” Villanelle tells Eve in the last minutes of the Season 3 finale. 

How many of us relate to being attracted to someone despite how terrible we know they are for us? Fire meets fire, and the flames threaten to engulf you both. But some part of you wants to see it through. Fire is mistaken for passion. 

Much like she did for Fleabag, and as Emerald Fennell has done with Promising Young Woman, Phoebe Waller-Bridge has created a show that gives us examples of women as more than just objects of attraction, more than ‘girl next door,’ more than “Hot Girl #2.” They’re messy. Sometimes they’re unlikeable. They take up space and exist apart from their male counterparts. They don’t feel the need to apologize for existing. 

Killing Eve sends us the message that if strong, unapologetic, complex women can exist on screen, maybe they can exist off of it, too.  

I think back to the scene in Season 1 where Eve tries on the dress Villanelle has sent her. It fits Eve perfectly. We see Eve admiring herself. It’s not just the dress: it’s Eve conceiving of a different reality for herself, one in which she exists as the most confident version of herself, in which she doesn’t have to make herself smaller to fit other people’s expectations. It’s the way Villanelle sees her.

It’s no surprise that when you have more women creators, you get more complex, dynamic female characters like the ones I’ve fallen for in Killing Eve.

According to the Annenberg Inclusion Initiative, on TV shows with at least one woman creator, women made up 65% of writers, versus just 19% on shows with no women. Of the top 500 films of 2019, movies with at least one female director employed greater percentages of women writers, editors, cinematographers, and composers than films with exclusively male directors, according to the Directors Guild of America 

And across platforms, TV shows that have at least one woman creator on the team employ far more women in other key behind-the-scenes roles and feature more female characters in major and speaking roles, according to the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film.

So yeah, let’s keep bringing on women, and particularly women of color, to write, direct, edit, and create television.

Because I need more shows like Killing Eve in my life.

This is an excerpt from an article that appeared in Quail Bell Magazine. Read the full article here!

Movie Monday: Parallel Universe in Washington?

I watched “Twin Peaks” for the first time three years ago. I was instantly sucked in by the bizarre world of David Lynch: the small Washington lumber town, the fascinating characters, Kyle MacLachlan. Kyle MacLachlan. Kyle M— ok, you get the idea. But he’s awesome. (whisper) Kyle MacLachlan.

I also had the feeling I’d seen something really similar before, and it turns out, I kind of had. About two years before I watched “Twin Peaks,” I was sucked in by another show: “The Killing.” It also takes place in Washington State. It also has dark undertones and a lot of mist. I tried researching these coincidences to see if anyone else had talked about them, and I found disappointingly little internet chatter. Which is why I’m taking up this space to do it.

With the return of “Twin Peaks” (I’ll reserve my thoughts on that for another post),  I thought I’d take a minute to point out some of the parallels between the two shows.

A few details “Twin Peaks” and “The Killing” have in common:

1. The echoey, eery intro music.                                                                                                                                   When I first heard the “Twin Peaks” intro, I thought it was taken from “The Killing.” Then I realized it was obviously the other way around—having been made 15 years earlier, “Twin Peaks” probably influenced the sound of “The Killing.”
2. Both are set in Washington State.
3. They both involve the disappearance and murder of a young girl.
4. Both involve suspicious goings-on at casinos.
5. Spooky actor Grace Zabriskie. She plays Sara Palmer in “Twin Peaks” (Laura’s Mom) and Mama Dips in “The Killing.”

Despite the surface similarities, the two shows are pretty different. “The Killing” is like a “Law and Order SVU” that draws the crime out through two seasons laden with red herrings. “Twin Peaks” is dramatic, often creepy, and contains Lynch’s signature departures from reality and dream-sequences-that-we-aren’t-really-sure-are-dream-sequences.

I’d still like to think that the creators of “The Killing” did not accidentally include so many parallels but that they also really like “Twin Peaks” and wanted to give a nod to the original Washington murder mystery.

Also, if you’re a “Twin Peaks” fan and ever watched “How I Met Your Mother,” did you notice the two “Twin Peaks” actors who make an appearance in later seasons? Check it out.

Movie Monday: Finding Mike Birbiglia

As I embark on my comedy-writing journey, I’ve been on the lookout for comedians whose work challenges and inspires me.

A while back, a friend suggested I check out Mike Birbiglia. I forgot about his recommendation, until one day, I heard a Terry Gross interview where Birbiglia was discussing his new film about improv, “Don’t Think Twice”. It was one of those serendipitous moments: I remembered the conversation I’d had with my friend, I remembered I’d been meaning to check out Birbiglia’s standup for months, and, I’d recently fallen in love with improv.

That NPR interview was my red pill, and I went down the Birbiglia rabbit hole. Later that day, I listened to the This American Life episode featuring Birbiglia’s story. That night, I watched “Sleepwalk With Me” on Netflix. I fell in love with his storytelling style and penchant for clean, deadpan humor.

I’ve been considering a lot lately what makes a comedian funny. Often, it’s because we can relate to some aspect the storyteller is sharing– we find the truth in comedy. Birbiglia’s autobiographical story, and the resulting visualization of it, “Sleepwalk With Me,” is relatable. “Sleepwalk With Me” boils down to the hero’s journey as Birbiglia fights his demons and recognizes his goals. We can all relate to that.

 

Movie Monday: Swooning for Swanberg

For today’s edition of Movie Monday, I want to highlight a director whose work has been inspiring me for the last few years: Joel Swanberg.

My Swanberg obsession started with my sister’s recommendation of the movie Drinking Buddies. I had less-than-high expectations. Just seeing the cover image on Netflix brought to mind frat boy comedies and overconsumption. And then I watched it, and I was happily surprised by the dynamic relationships it explored and the unexpected choices characters make.

Since then, I’ve watched Digging for Fire and Win It All, and his films continue to present the complex relationships that I enjoy seeing actors dive into. They are dialogue heavy, which is a personal preference of mine, especially when the dialogue feels like it could be taken from everyday conversations. Swanberg also has a skill for bringing together entertaining groups of talented actors: Jake Johnson (most known from New Girl), Brie Larson, Mike Birbiglia, and most recently, Keegan-Michael Key.

I’m already looking forward to his next work.

Movie Monday: Creation of Classics

I watched Annie Hall for the first time today. I enjoyed it for myriad reasons: Diane Keaton’s humor and style. Woody Allen’s jokes (which I now see have influenced so many other variations on the romantic comedy). The literary references. The pokes at the extravagance of Hollywood and the neurosis of New Yorkers.

When I make the time to watch a movie or tv show these days, I’ve been trying to focus on those that inspire me and have inspired countless others: classics, whether that be the Criterion Collection or a new classic. Last week, I watched Chinatown. I loved the mystery, the cinematography, shots of California, and seeing a young Jack Nicholson.

Watching these movies gave me a new connection with my mom. These are two of her favorite movies, and she recommended them both to me.

Then I remembered what the directors of both movies, Woody Allen and Roman Polansky, are most known for today: their infamous (and  in Polansky’s case, illegal) relations with women. Of course, when my mom watched them, Polanksy and Allen hadn’t yet committed the acts that would put one in exile. Still, I started to wonder, does their behavior outside of the studio take away from their art?

I’m not so much trying to answer this question as to present it for discussion. Maybe there are two lenses through which we can approach any creation: as independent of its creator, appreciated solely for what it represents to us, and secondly, as an extension of the person who created it.

In defense of the breakup: when romance doesn’t work out on the big screen..and everybody is still (mostly) ok

If there’s a pattern we are happy to see repeated in art, it’s the culmination of a romantic relationship: the moment when the girl gets the guy. The wedding. That heart-wrenching scene when the characters realize they are in love with one another in the same moment and will live happily ever after.

As much as we might say we enjoy surprise endings, there’s a lot of comfort to be found in a story where our expectations for the characters are met, and a relationship is forged in cinematic eternity.

So it’s rare to find movies, especially those that fall into the romantic comedy genre, where characters (gasp) don’t end up together. And I’d like to make an argument for this story. Because in real life, we don’t always end up with the guy. And you know what? It is okay. We are (mostly) okay.

As much as I want movies and TV to represent a glorification of real life—a glossier, high-def version of what I am experiencing—I also like it when a movie reflects my own experiences in romance. So, here are some movies to check out when you need a reminder that romance doesn’t always end in a trip to the church, and sometimes for the best.

As some probably-wise person said, “just because something good ends doesn’t mean something better won’t begin.” 

5 Not-So-Romantic Romantic Comedies

5. 500 Days of Summer

I’d watch this movie simply to gaze at Joseph Gordon-Levitt and emulate Zooey Deschanel’s wardrobe. Hip as hell, the both of them. Not to mention an addictive soundtrack. To be honest, I did not like this movie the first time I saw it. It was one of the first romantic movies I watched where the protagonists don’t end up together, and I think I struggled with the concept. I was also a little in denial about my own relationship at the time and the possibility that it might not work out. I watched it again a while later and I realized how great this movie is exactly for those reasons: it depicts the reality that not every relationship works out, and as challenging as the experience is, you learn so much about yourself in the process.

    4. Begin Again

Focal point on music, and being true to yourself. Spoiler alert: Keira Knightley doesn’t end up with either Adam Levine or Mark Ruffalo. And she is (another gasp) okay. In fact, you get the feeling she’s better off for finding her independence and following her heart, not into the arms of a dude, but in her career aspirations.

     3. Drinking Buddies

Damn, director Joel Swanberg loves his sexual tension. He is so good at depicting the pivotal situations we find ourselves in and the choices we get to make about our relationships in those moments. As adorable as Jake Johnson and Olivia Wilde are in their exchanges, I was really satisfied that they remain, in fact, drinking buddies. Psst, Harry and Sally: guys and girls can be friends. Shoutout to my sister Isabel for introducing me to this movie. 

     2. Her

I did not think I would fall for a movie about a man falling for a piece of technology. As much as I enjoy perusing Instagram, Twitter, and other people’s blogs, it also bums me out how entranced people become by all of it — like when I’m at a restaurant with friends and instead of engaging with each other, we are all looking down at our phones. And that’s exactly why this movie is worth watching. It’s a reminder both of how our desire to love and be loved is so intrinsically human that we might be willing to find it in any form, and of how important it is to cultivate the relationships with the people right in front us, romantic or otherwise. The dangers of technology, at its rawest. Also, Joaquin Phoenix is pretty lovable, even at his most desperate moments pining after his computer operating system.

1. Celeste and Jesse Forever

“It recognizes that the hardest part of breaking up is losing a partner.” – Gyan Yankovich 

I love Andy Samberg and I love Rashida Jones, and so, of course, watching them together is delightful, even if very early in the movie, you learn this is not a ‘girl meets boy and falls in love’ kind of story. This is a ‘how do you deal with the unraveling of a relationship when you still care about each other’ kind of story. Of all the movies on this list, this one resonated with me the most. Having been in a similar situation, I could relate to the pain you feel as a relationship is ending, but also that perspective you start to develop that the end of something is also the start of something else. With Jones as one of the head writers, this is a well-written and relatable story that I’d recommend to anyone struggling through a breakup.